Trying To Find Love In All The Wrong Places


By Jewel Tyler

Once upon a time in the land of no internet, men and women connected totally different.  Meeting places were laundromats, grocery stores, at friends homes, churches, parties and even at work.  Times have changed so much that the only way people approach one another is via the internet mainly on dating sites.  Some of which I call “meat markets.”  People have forgotten what it means to walk up to an individual they may be interested in and start a conversation.  Even after meeting one another I have seen individuals out on a date amongst other individuals in a social gathering texting one another.

What happened to good ole conversation with one another.  Sometimes, I become so frustrated when individuals want to carry on an hour long conversation via texting.  I will stop texting after a few texts and just simply call the person and you know what they will not answer the phone but continue texting me.  That is when I put my phone down and go on with my day.

Ladies you might think it is cute or sexy but you are attracting the wrong type of man by posting butt pics on the internet and dating sites; or pics in your bathroom in your underwear or worst.  The twerking craze is out of hand.  What you are telling men is, this is all I have to offer, my butt or back side or the fact I can shake my behind.  Don’t get me wrong, yes men enjoy it, but what are they saying about it?  “Man look at this freak right here.”  Is that what you really want to be labeled as if you are looking into engaging into a serious relationship?

I took several surveys on with a wide variety of men from all walks of life and age groups.  One of the questions I asked “Why are you REALLY on Tagged?”  The vast majority of their responses was ”To find me a freak  someone I can get with and keep it moving on to the next freak.”  I was like WOW really?  Women for the picking, and the sad thing is a lot of the women on these sites are there because they know when they are out and about socializing it is rare for a man to approach them.  Therefore, they go with the flow and try to connect on social networking sites.

What does it really say about a man that does not have enough self confidence to know they can connect with a woman without approaching them on a site.  I know this is the times that we live in.  However, the men I have connected with for mere investigative purposes for a book I am working on;  had numerous issues. Hence, the reason they were on the sites in the first place.  They live with someone they are not happy with and are looking for a way to cheat.  Or, they have so many problems themselves, unemployed, drugs, I could go on and on.  The sad thing is they could be telling you anything and women today are so desperate they fall for the okie doke.

If a man cannot walk up to me to approach me and have a decent conversation with me so I can look them in their eyes and read their body language to see if they are a liar, player or whatever, I am not interested.  I still have my Tagged account, but it is now there to push my books. That is the honest truth I used to log in on a normal basis because I could do my surveys.  But once they took away the ability to ask the questions I wanted for survey purposes I don’t have a need to sign in.  I am not interested in meeting you, giving you my number or any of that, I have heard too many tragic stories of women meeting men on line.

How can one truly separate the wheat from the tares online?  The internet to me now has become a place of exploitation.  Girls are getting their behind beat by their parents for inappropriate behavior.  It has also become dangerous for teenagers and young girls.  I have a friend that has a daughter that is 12 years old and she was online entertaining a 19 year old.  She lied about her age and was carrying on conversations with this older guy online.  Just dangerous sorry to digress.

Everyone just seems to be to be looking and seeking a companion and love but in all of the wrong places.  Where is the right place these days to meet someone that you could spend the rest of your life with?  I do welcome your comments and suggestions that I would like to share with our readers.

But this I do know, posting provocative pictures ladies and gents on every web site that you can sign up with is not going to land an individual you can spend the rest of your life with and really trust.  Because every time you catch that person on Tagged or Match or whatever site you are going to be wondering if they are flirting or chatting with a new prospect because that is where you met them.  If you met someone on line and you do in fact enter into a relationship with them.  The only way I can see it being successful is that you both delete your dating accounts online.  Because then and only then are you saying you know that I have found Mr. or Mrs. Right. I am off the market.


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