Marriage Is More Of A Business Arrangement

belinda

 

by Belinda Kendall

 

Please know that a marriage is more of a business arrangement than anything else.

Having a car, good job, education, or good credit is something that money can buy, and/or change. The things you need to look for are the spiritual things.

Play attention how their parents interact with each other. You may be looking at yourself 10 years from now; because that is the only example they have as what a husband/wife should act.

If she comes from a single family home, please know she doesn’t know how to dance with a man. Because their mother had to fight for everything she got, so be prepared to go toe to toe with her.

If there has been a sexual sin in the family, it will either lead to the same thing happening when you have children, or a parent that is so full of fear they can barely function.

If they were the type of person that ran around a lot with people, please know they will not be able to trust you. This will lead to a lot of arguments, because they will think you are sleeping around with other people like they did.

If there are any mental issues in the family, chances are you too may have these same issues when you have children. And, also with the person you marry.

If they didn’t come from a lot, once they get married they will not be able to budget, or judge every purchase. You may go years before even buying a new pair of shoes, because the fear of being poor again is greater than anything in their life.

If they came from a family that spends all their time together, please know this will not stop, and the whole family will turn against in a minute when you don’t want to- including your spouse.

If they talk about buying things they don’t have now, please know they will try to live out their dream on your wallet, until their dream becomes your nightmare.

I remember talking to my Daddy one day about how my husband was treating me, and no matter what I said he kept talking about these German Sheppard puppies down the street. Until out of frustration I said, “Just because they are a German Sheppard don’t mean they are full blooded. I don’t know anything about those puppies; they could come from a crazy blood line.” The whole time I am saying this he is looking straight ahead, then he turned to me and said, “So why would you pick a dog better than you pick a husband?”

A business arrangement is where two people come together to create a powerful team for success. Makes you understand why so many marriages fail. Because the spirits you are fighting can’t be seen with the natural eyes. And, what you can’t see is more powerful than what you can see.

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In the South Having No Manners, Is Worst Than Having No Money

belinda

 

by Belinda Kendall

In the South having no manners, is worst than having no money.

One of the things that grinds my gears is when people that are not from the South thinks that we are unintelligent, weak, and mock our way of speaking.

You see saying, “Yes Ma’am” and “No Sir”, to you seems like a slave master’s language, but it’s not; it’s called having manners, and respect to the person you are speaking to. Little do you know that we as African Americans speak to our parents the same manner.

If you are African Americas and you visit one of our fine southern restaurants and your waitress is a white southern woman, once you put in your order, or make a request, she will say in return, “Yes Ma’am” or “Yes Sir”, to you.

The State Troopers and Police Officers will pull you over and no matter how you speak to them, they will still say, “Yes Ma’am” or “No Sir.” Even when they give you a ticket that will change your life, they will end the conversation with, “Ma’am” or “Sir, enjoy your evening.”

Don’t take our submissive tone, and kind words for a sign of weakness, or ignorance. If you cross one of us we will pick up the phone and make one phone to another southerner of a different race, and change your whole life without you knowing.

Then we will look you dead in your face, with a big smile and say, “Bless your Heart and I will pray God makes a way for you. And, remember God loves you”

What we are really saying is, “You big dummy, I am going to pray that God helps you, because I am done. And, at this point he is the only one that loves you.”

So with a big smile on my face I say, and in my southern tone, “Ma’am/ Sir, welcome to the south, and enjoy your stay!

They Don’t Care, or They Never Loved You

belinda

 

by Belinda Kendall

 

One of the hardest things for a person to hear about someone you love is, “They Don’t Care, or they never loved you.”

We all have been in relationships where we thought they were the one. When you were together you did things, they introduced you to their family, and friends- so you thought it’s a serious relationship. So much so they were the last thing you thought about before bed, and the first thing you thought about when you woke up.

But one day you find out that is was all a game and you are not the only one. Now this would send anybody into depression. So you begin to talk to your friends about your pain and they say the words you never ever want to hear, “They don’t care and/or they never loved you.” Now you are mad at the person that told you this, and begin to call other friends to discount the words you heard. The person that told you that may be right. In most cases they are speaking from experiences, and know all the signs.

You see the person that you thought loved you, never did, and really couldn’t care, because of the hole in their heart. Although your pain may be great, but their pain is even greater, and they are stuck in the past. Men and Women that usually have this behavior were once hurt to the point they refuse to ever feel that way again. This is why they keep in contact with several other men and/or women just in case you hurt them they will have someone else to take your place. Now is this wrong? YES! But, at the same time it’s become learned behavior for them. It’s a cycle that keeps repeating it self out of fear of being hurt.

Where now that you are gone they have to find someone else to fill your spot, because they are 100% sure about the others. So they get dressed up, make sure they know the whereabouts of the others, make all the necessary phone calls to ensure them they care, but busy tonight, and goes out and find another victim.

It’s like keeping horses in a stable, the one that is wild they have to get rid of – meaning you. Because they don’t know what that horses will do, and can cause the other horses to leave.

To the person that sent me this email concerning a broken heart, you will love again. And, don’t be jealous, or envy of anyone you see them with, because you already know the end of the story.They also see the signs this person is cheating, but they don’t know how to get off the ride, in so many ways they are really jealous of you, because you got off the ride, and was able to move on, they are too weak, and they are stuck.

Before I Formed You In The Womb I Knew

belinda

 

by Belinda Kendall

Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew.”

My Daddy use to say, “You should never talk on the phone more than 15 minutes. After 15 minutes you will start lying, or telling something you shouldn’t tell.”

When I think about what Jeremiah, and my Daddy said, it makes me wonder why we spend so much time telling other people our problems. We speak to others about the problems we have in our relationships, jobs, friends, and family members they really can’t help us. What ends up happening is we will find ourselves depressed, bitter, and confused, because they will end up telling somebody else.

Why not tell God your problems? He knows that person, and he will never tell anybody else. You see God knows why they act the way they do, He knows their strengths and weakness, He knows what it would take to get their attention, and He can direct you on what to do.

I have even had dreams on how to deal with people, and God has shown me things about people. Jeremiah 33:3 say, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” You will come to a point where not much will surprise you, because God will reveal it in your spirit.

Look at it like this, if you brought a Lexus, and it’s not working like it should, or is broken the best person to take the car to is Lexus, the people that made it. If you take it to another dealership they can only tell you what they think is wrong, just like your friends. When you are having problems with a person take it back to the person that made them. According to Jeremiah 1:5, he knew them before they were formed in their mother’s womb.

“Unsearchable Things”, Honey, Baby, Sugar pie, God knows things that their own Momma don’t know, and in most cases, things they don’t even know about themselves!!!

 

PROUD MOTHER MOMENT!!!

belinda

by Belinda Kendall

 

Claire explained to me that Yaya had been crying a lot when she drops her off at daycare. She said that, “Yaya would start crying and questioning her if she was going to come back, and if anybody would pick her up from daycare?’ Keep in mind this would go on for about 10 minutes or more.

I explained to Claire that she is 3, and may be going through, “Separation Anxiety.” She said, “I am going to take Friday off, and spend some time with her, and I am going to let her know that we would never leave her, and how important she is to me, daddy, the grand mammas, and the whole family. And, if she keeps doing it I will not punish her but remind her of our conversation.” THIS MADE ME SO PROUD!!!

So many times we tend to punish our children when they act out, and force them to do things against their will, without explanation and not taking the time to understand why they are acting out.

I once knew a girl that would keep a record of everything she did for you and would remind you in an argument, what she has done for you. It was almost like a list to make you see why you should be her friend. She kept records because she was use to people walking out of her life, and she was very needy. I later found out that her Daddy never accepted her, and her mother, and grandparents just didn’t want to talk about it.

I wonder some time when I see adults that have problems with rejection or being alone, can it go back to their childhood. Wouldn’t it be sad if the reason you beg people to stay in your life, in some cases making a fool out of yourself, all because your parent or the person raising you didn’t take the time to simply talk with you, to reinsure you that you were okay, and you are never alone?

 

There was nothing wrong with you, but you couldn’t stop so now something is wrong with you!

belinda

by Belinda Kendall

 

Just because your friends have a man, doesn’t mean you are suppose to have one too. I know of a beautiful woman, but she can’t figure out why she is not married. She is so focus on this she has become, OCD. She is always cleaning her house, even when it’s spotless. In her mind if she keeps her house cleaner God will bless me with a husband, if she loses more weight, cut her hair, start wearing make-up, and so on, maybe then He will bless her with a husband.

You allow the devil to use your mind that you are not good enough, and that’s why you are single. You will go from dressing classy to dressing like a lose woman, just so you can get attention. Every man you meet you start talking about marriage after a few weeks.

Would you believe that God has the man for you, but it’s not time yet. There are some things God wants to do in your life, and having a relationship with a man will be nothing but a distraction and will delay the plan he has for life. You may have children that needs all of your attention at this time in their life, because they are called to do something great.

I know women that are single and very successful, but crazier than the left leg of hell. The things they have been able to accomplish in life would have never happen if they were married, or in a relationship. It wouldn’t be fair to their husband/boyfriend, if they spent more time with their career, than with him.

Now you are successful and have accomplished the things in your life you were created to do. But, now you are single, bitter, controlling, judgmental, a gossiper, angry, and crazy, because you kept trying to have a relationship out of season. THIS APPIES TO MEN TOO!!!!

Isaiah 40:31 says, “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

According to this scripture age has nothing to do with nothing, because you are never too old to fall in love, if you follow God’s plan for your life!!!!

 

The Peacemaker

peacemaker

belinda

by Belinda Kendall

You have to careful when sowing words of wisdom into people’s life without giving clear understanding. I heard about a person that somewhere in life, maybe when they first became a Christian was told, “God loves the peace maker.” These words alone have destroyed everything in their life, and have caused their life to be cursed.

These words have caused them to be used, mistreated, and abuse by family members, the church, and friends. To be a peace maker doesn’t mean you have to keep dealing with people that mistreat you, it means, forgive, and walk away instead of having an argument with them.
Their greatest fear in life has become worrying about how people feel about them, if they would question their walk with God if they stood up for themselves, and if they say it’s their fault everything went wrong.

These words have opened the door for them being a liar, gossiper, depression, and will quickly throw you under the bus so they look good. Why? Because they want to be known as the, “Peace Maker,” and really believe God is please with them, because, “He Loves the Peace Maker.”

In this person’s eyes if you cut out family members for mistreating you, or close friends—you are the devil, and down right evil.

Needless to say that their life has become a whirlwind of mess, all because they thought they were pleasing God. Makes you understand how a Preacher, Teacher, or Family Member can changed the whole course of your life, with a scripture.