Why Don’t Men Love Themselves Anymore?



by Belinda Kendall

While I was out tonight for dinner, I saw someone that I have known for a while on a date with someone, however, he is married.

I thought to myself, “Why don’t men love themselves anymore?” When I worked with the homeless at a hotel, I worked during the holidays. I took many meals to some very good looking older men that sat in their hotel room all alone. When I would ask, “Do you have any children?”, they would always tell me about their children, grandchildren, and all the things they had accomplished in life. Their eyes would light up about the stories about their wives and how their children would act When I would ask, “So why are you not spending the holiday with them this year?” Their answers were, “Well they like to go to their mother’s house, that’s where they go for the holidays.” Then they would talk about how their wife could cook an amazing meal, the stories went on and on.

This is a story I have heard over and over again from men. Some would say, “I never got married, because I wasn’t the marrying kind.” Or, “I had to take care of my mother, but she is dead now”, or “I was married before and marriage is not for me.” This is mainly because they are selfish.

Every holiday I think about these older single men I met in my life and I think about something my Daddy said on his dying bed. He told me and my sisters, “A married man lives the life of a dog, but a single man lives the life of a king, because he has no one to take care of. But, a single man dies like a dog, because he dies alone, and a married man dies like a king, because all of you are here to tell me how much you love me, so I am not dying alone.”

I have seen older single men going out to clubs and bars, living with their mother, sitting in hotel rooms all alone, and even dying in the hospitals. You would think all of these men that are married would look at how they are living and dying and want to change their ways. We have these men in our families, communities, and church, so the next time you see one of them, you may be looking at yourself years from now.

“I was crying a little for the boy I had wanted him to be and the boy he hadn’t turned out to be.”
― Gabrielle Zevin


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